Responding to “You never listen to me” without getting defensive

When it comes to relationships, communication is key. But what happens when that communication breaks down and you’re met with the accusation You never listen to me? It’s natural to feel defensive, but responding in kind can escalate the situation. Instead, here are some strategies to help you respond to this common criticism without getting defensive.

First, take a deep breath and acknowledge your partner’s feelings. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with their assessment, but it shows that you’re willing to listen and understand their perspective.

I know you feel like I don’t listen to you, and that can be really frustrating. Can you help me understand what’s been going on from your side?

Next, try to identify the specific instances that may have led your partner to feel this way. Be honest with yourself – have you been distracted during conversations or not made an effort to understand their viewpoint?

Hey, I want to make things right between us. Have I been zoning out during our talks or not giving you the attention you need?

It’s also important to clarify what your partner means by you never listen to me. Are they feeling ignored, dismissed, or unheard?

What do you mean when you say I don’t listen to you? Is it that I’m not giving you my full attention, or that I’m not taking your feelings into consideration?

Once you have a better understanding of the issue, apologize sincerely for any hurt or frustration you may have caused.

I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel ignored or unheard. That’s not my intention, and I want to do better in the future.

Now it’s time to work together to find a solution. This might involve setting aside dedicated time for conversations, actively practicing active listening, or finding ways to show your partner that you’re engaged and interested in what they have to say.

Let’s make a plan to set aside some dedicated time to talk each day. I want to make sure I’m giving you my full attention and really hearing what you have to say.

Remember, responding to You never listen to me without getting defensive takes patience, empathy, and a willingness to grow and improve. By acknowledging your partner’s feelings, identifying the root of the issue, and working together to find a solution, you can strengthen your relationship and build a stronger connection.

I want us to feel heard and understood by each other. Let’s work together to create a safe and supportive space for our conversations.

Additionally, try to avoid giving excuses or justifying your behavior. This can come across as dismissive and unheard.

I know I’ve been busy lately, but that’s no excuse for not listening to you. I’ll make sure to prioritize our conversations moving forward.

Instead of getting defensive, try to reframe the conversation as an opportunity to grow and improve together.

I appreciate you bringing this to my attention. It’s helping me realize I need to work on my listening skills, and I’m grateful for your feedback.

By following these strategies, you can respond to You never listen to me without getting defensive and actually strengthen your relationship in the process.

I value our relationship and I’m committed to doing better. Let’s work together to build a stronger connection and create a more supportive space for each other.

Remember, relationships are about growth, learning, and improvement. By being open to feedback and willing to make changes, you can build a stronger, more loving connection with your partner.

I’m committed to being a better listener and partner to you. Thank you for helping me become a better version of myself.

Be kind ❤

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