When it comes to parenting, one of the most common phrases you’ll hear from your kids is This is too hard! Whether it’s a math problem, a challenging book, or a tricky puzzle, kids often feel overwhelmed and frustrated when faced with a difficult task. As a parent, it’s essential to know how to respond to this complaint in a way that encourages your child to persevere and develop a growth mindset.

The first step is to acknowledge your child’s feelings and let them know that you understand it’s tough. You can say something like:

I know this is frustrating for you right now, but let’s break it down together and see if we can make it more manageable.

Or:

I can see why you’d think this is too hard, but sometimes the best way to learn is by doing things that challenge us.

By acknowledging their emotions, you’re showing your child that you’re on their side and that you’re there to support them.

Next, try to help your child identify the specific problem they’re struggling with. Is it a particular concept or step that’s giving them trouble? Once you’ve pinpointed the issue, you can work together to find a solution. You might say:

What’s the one thing that’s really confusing you about this problem? Let’s focus on that part first.

Or:

Let’s take a step back and look at the instructions again. What do you think the next step should be?

By helping your child identify the problem and break it down into smaller, more manageable parts, you’re teaching them a valuable skill that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Another approach is to encourage your child to think about times when they’ve faced similar challenges in the past and overcome them. You could say:

Remember when you were learning to ride a bike and you fell off a few times? You didn’t give up, and now you’re a great bike rider. This is kind of like that.

Or:

I know you’re feeling stuck, but you’ve solved harder problems before. What do you think you could do differently this time?

By helping your child connect the dots between past successes and current challenges, you’re showing them that they have the power to overcome obstacles.

It’s also essential to praise your child for their effort, not just their results. When they’re struggling with a difficult task, it’s easy to get discouraged and feel like they’re not good enough. By praising their effort, you’re sending the message that it’s okay to make mistakes and that they’re capable of learning and growing. You might say:

I can see that you’re really trying hard, and that takes a lot of courage. Keep it up, and you’ll get there eventually.

Or:

I know this is tough, but I’m proud of you for not giving up. That shows a lot of character.

Finally, be sure to model the behavior you want to see in your child. If they see you avoiding challenges or giving up easily, they’re likely to do the same. But if they see you embracing challenges and persevering through difficulties, they’ll be more likely to do the same. You could say:

You know, I was trying to figure out this new recipe last night, and it was really hard. But I didn’t give up, and it turned out great. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right.

Or:

I’m not good at this particular skill, but I’m going to keep practicing until I get it. Want to practice with me?

By responding to your child’s complaints of This is too hard! with empathy, guidance, and encouragement, you can help them develop a growth mindset and a love of learning that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Some additional example sentences to try:

Let’s take a deep breath and try again. We can do this!

I believe in you, and I know you can do this.

What do you think you could do differently next time to make it easier?

This might be hard, but it’s not impossible. Let’s break it down into smaller steps.

Remember, the only way to get better is to keep trying. Keep going, you’re almost there!

I know it’s frustrating, but sometimes we have to push through the hard parts to get to the good stuff.

You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for. Keep it up!

Let’s think about this together. What are some possible solutions we could try?

I know this is tough, but you’re tougher. You can do this.

Sometimes we have to take a break and come back to it later with fresh eyes. Want to try that?

You’re not alone in this. We can work through it together.

This is a great opportunity to learn something new. Let’s make the most of it!

It’s okay to make mistakes. That’s how we learn. What can we learn from this mistake?

I’m here to support you, not to do it for you. You got this!

Let’s celebrate how far you’ve come, even if it’s not all the way yet. You’re making progress!

Be kind ❤