What to say when your friend is dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable

When your friend is dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable, it can be a challenging and delicate situation to navigate. On one hand, you want to be supportive and understanding, but on the other hand, you also want to protect your friend from potential heartache and emotional distress. As a good friend, you want to be honest without being too pushy or judgmental. So, what do you say when your friend is dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable?

The first step is to acknowledge your friend’s feelings and recognize that they are in a relationship that is meaningful to them. Avoid criticizing or judging their partner, as this can put your friend on the defensive and make them less likely to listen to your concerns.

I’m happy you’re happy, but I want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself in this relationship

Instead, focus on expressing your concerns in a gentle and non-accusatory way. You might say something like:

I’ve noticed that you seem really invested in this relationship, and I want to make sure you’re not overextending yourself emotionally. How do you feel about how things are going?

By asking open-ended questions and listening actively, you can help your friend gain insight into their own feelings and motivations.

What do you think is the most fulfilling part of this relationship for you?

How do you feel when your partner doesn’t respond to your texts or calls for hours?

What are your non-negotiables in a relationship, and are they being met?

As your friend reflects on their relationship, they may begin to see patterns or behaviors that are causing them distress. You can help them identify these patterns by asking gentle, probing questions.

Do you feel like you’re always the one initiating conversations or planning dates?

How does it feel when your partner cancels plans at the last minute or doesn’t follow through on commitments?

Have you noticed any changes in your mood or energy levels since you started dating this person?

As your friend becomes more aware of the emotional unavailability of their partner, they may begin to feel more empowered to make changes or set boundaries. You can support them in this process by offering words of encouragement and validation.

I know it’s hard to see right now, but you deserve someone who is emotionally available and invested in your well-being. You’re worthy of that.

It takes so much courage to acknowledge when someone isn’t meeting our emotional needs. I’m proud of you for taking steps to prioritize yourself.

Remember to avoid being too prescriptive or pushy, as this can be overwhelming and even damaging to your friend’s autonomy. Instead, focus on being a supportive and empathetic listener, and let your friend come to their own realizations about the relationship.

I’m here for you, no matter what. You know I care about you deeply, and I want to support you in whatever way feels right for you.

In conclusion, when your friend is dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable, the most important thing you can do is be a supportive and non-judgmental listener. By asking open-ended questions, expressing concern without criticism, and avoiding prescriptive advice, you can help your friend gain insight into their own feelings and make empowered decisions about their relationship. Ultimately, it’s up to your friend to decide what they want and need, but with your support and guidance, they’ll be better equipped to navigate the complexities of dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable.

Be kind ❤

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