When someone says I’m only kidding, don’t be so sensitive after making a comment that rubbed you the wrong way, it can be frustrating and invalidating. This phrase is often used to dismiss your feelings and make you feel like you’re overreacting. However, it’s essential to remember that your emotions are valid, and you have the right to respond. Here are some strategies for handling conversations effectively when someone uses this phrase:

Don’t Take the Bait

When someone says I’m only kidding, don’t be so sensitive, they might be trying to provoke a reaction from you. Remember that you don’t have to take the bait. Stay calm, and avoid getting defensive or emotional. This will help you maintain control of the conversation and prevent things from escalating.

I understand you were trying to be funny, but that comment actually hurt my feelings. Can we find a way to move forward?

Acknowledge Their Intentions (But Also Yours)

You can acknowledge that the person was trying to be funny or make a joke, but also express how their comment affected you. This approach shows that you’re willing to listen to their perspective, but also that you won’t let your feelings be dismissed.

I get that you were trying to be lighthearted, but your comment came across as insensitive. Can we find a way to joke around that doesn’t hurt either of us?

Use I Statements

When responding to the I’m only kidding phrase, try using I statements to express your feelings and thoughts. This helps to take the focus off the other person and puts the emphasis on your own experiences.

I feel uncomfortable when you make jokes about that topic. Could we avoid it in the future?

Don’t Let Them Gaslight You

Sometimes, people use the I’m only kidding phrase to manipulate or gaslight others. If you feel like someone is deliberately trying to make you doubt your own emotions or reactions, stand your ground and assertively express your feelings.

I know what I felt when you said that, and it wasn’t funny to me. Please don’t tell me how I should be feeling in this situation.

Redirect the Conversation

If the conversation is becoming too heated or uncomfortable, try redirecting it to a more positive or neutral topic. This can help to diffuse tension and move the conversation forward.

Let’s talk about something else. How was your weekend?

Use Humor to Defuse

If you’re comfortable with using humor, try responding with a lighthearted comment that acknowledges the person’s attempt at humor while also expressing your own feelings.

Oh, nice try, but I think we can do better than that joke. Want to try again?

Set Boundaries

If someone consistently uses the I’m only kidding phrase to dismiss your feelings or make hurtful comments, it may be time to set boundaries. Let them know what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not.

Hey, I want to make it clear that I’m not okay with jokes about that topic. Can we agree to avoid it in the future?

In conclusion, remember that your emotions and feelings are valid, and you have the right to express them. Don’t let someone’s dismissive phrase like I’m only kidding, don’t be so sensitive make you feel like you’re overreacting. By using these strategies, you can effectively handle conversations and maintain a healthy dynamic with others.

You know what? I think we can do better than that conversation. Let’s start fresh and focus on being kind to each other.

Be kind ❤