When it comes to self-care, it’s not uncommon to face criticisms or concerns from family, friends, or even colleagues about our habits or lifestyle choices. One of the most frustrating and defensive-provoking accusations is: You’re not taking care of yourself. This statement can trigger a mix of emotions, from guilt to anger, and even self-doubt. So, how do we handle these accusations effectively, without getting defensive or dismissive?

First, it’s essential to acknowledge that these accusations often stem from concern, even if they’re expressed in a less-than-ideal manner. It’s crucial to remain calm and composed, rather than reacting impulsively. Take a deep breath, count to ten, or step away for a moment to collect your thoughts before responding.

Here are some strategies and example sentences to help you navigate these conversations with grace and assertiveness:

Acknowledge their concern

• I understand you’re coming from a place of concern, and I appreciate that.
• I know you’re worried about my well-being, and I appreciate your care.

Set the record straight

• Actually, I’ve been prioritizing self-care by
  

  insert specific actions, e.g., exercising regularly or cooking healthy meals

• I’ve been making time for
  

  specific self-care activities, e.g., meditation or reading

Offer alternatives

• Instead of assuming I’m not taking care of myself, could we discuss specific ways I can improve?
• What specific changes would you like to see me make to improve my self-care?

Redirect the conversation

• Let’s focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on what I’m doing wrong.
• Can we explore ways I can prioritize self-care together?

Set boundaries

• I understand your concern, but I’d appreciate it if you could express it in a more supportive way.
• I’d prefer it if we could have this conversation without judgment or accusations.

Take ownership

• You know what? I haven’t been taking care of myself as well as I should. Thanks for pointing it out.
• I need to work on prioritizing my well-being more. Can we brainstorm ways to do that?

Seek clarification

• What specifically makes you think I’m not taking care of myself?
• Can you give me an example of what you mean by not taking care of myself?

Practice active listening

• Just to make sure I understand, can you rephrase what you mean by that?
• So, you’re concerned that
  

  summarize their concern

  Is that right?

In conclusion, handling accusations about not taking care of oneself requires empathy, self-awareness, and effective communication. By acknowledging concerns, setting the record straight, offering alternatives, redirecting the conversation, setting boundaries, taking ownership, seeking clarification, and practicing active listening, you can turn a potentially confrontational conversation into an opportunity for growth and understanding. Remember, taking care of oneself is a personal journey, and by speaking from a place of confidence and assertiveness, you can move the conversation forward in a positive and constructive way.

Be kind ❤