As parents, we’ve all been there – our child says I’m fine when it’s clear they’re not. It’s a common phenomenon, especially as kids enter their pre-teen and teenage years. But how do you navigate this situation effectively?

The first step is to acknowledge their response while also expressing your concern. This lets your child know that you hear them, but you’re not buying the I’m fine act. Here are some example responses you can use:

I know you said you’re fine, but I can tell something’s bothering you. Can we talk about it?

I care about you, and I’m here to support you. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s okay, but know that I’m here for you when you are.

I’ve noticed you seem a bit off today. Can I help you with anything or is there something on your mind?

I’m here to listen, and I want to help. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s okay. Just know that I’m here for you, and we can talk whenever you’re ready.

Sometimes, kids say I’m fine because they don’t want to burden you with their problems. In this case, reassurance and a gentle push can go a long way. Try saying:

I know you think you can handle this on your own, but I’m here to help. Would you like some advice or just someone to listen?

I’m not trying to pry, but I want to help. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s okay, but know that I’m here for you.

I care about you, and I want to help. If you’re not ready to talk, that’s okay. Just know that I’m here for you, and we can talk whenever you’re ready.

Another approach is to ask open-ended questions that encourage your child to open up. Avoid yes or no questions, and instead, ask questions that begin with what, how, or why. Here are some examples:

What’s been going on that’s got you feeling this way?

How did that make you feel?

Why do you think that happened?

Can you tell me more about what’s bothering you?

What’s been going on that’s got you feeling this way?

How did that make you feel?

Why do you think that happened?

Can you tell me more about what’s bothering you?

It’s also essential to be aware of your tone and body language. Make sure you’re coming from a place of love and concern, rather than anger or frustration. Avoid crossing your arms or leaning away, as this can give the impression that you’re not interested in listening.

Remember, as a parent, your role is not only to provide guidance but also to be a supportive and empathetic listener. By doing so, you’ll create a safe space for your child to open up and share their feelings with you.

Ultimately, when your child says I’m fine but you know they’re not, it’s an opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level and build trust. By using the strategies outlined above, you’ll be better equipped to navigate these situations and help your child feel heard and supported.

As you continue to navigate the complex world of parenting, remember that it’s okay to not have all the answers. What’s most important is that you show up, listen, and care. With time, patience, and practice, you’ll become more adept at handling conversations effectively, and your child will learn to trust you with their feelings.

In conclusion, when your child says I’m fine but you know they’re not, don’t give up. Keep showing up, listening, and caring. With love, empathy, and patience, you’ll help your child develop the confidence to open up and share their feelings with you.

Be kind ❤