Handling criticism or negative comments from friends can be tough, especially when it feels like they’re questioning our abilities or skills. One of the most demotivating phrases you might hear from a friend is You’re not good at this. Ouch! It’s natural to feel defensive, hurt, or even angry when someone says something like that. But how you respond can make all the difference in maintaining a healthy and strong friendship.

Stay Calm and Avoid Getting Defensive

When someone says You’re not good at this, your initial reaction might be to defend yourself or justify your actions. However, this can lead to an argument or a heated discussion, which is not what you want. Instead, take a deep breath, count to ten, and respond in a calm and collected manner.

Hey, I understand where you’re coming from, but I think I need a little more practice to get better at this. Can you help me with some tips or suggestions?

Acknowledge Their Concerns and Show You’re Open to Feedback

A simple acknowledgement of your friend’s concerns can go a long way in diffusing the situation. Show them that you’re open to feedback and willing to learn from your mistakes.

I appreciate your honesty, and I know I’m not perfect. Can you tell me more about what you think I could improve on?

Reframe the Conversation and Focus on the Positive

Instead of dwelling on what you’re not good at, try to shift the conversation to what you’re good at or what you’re working towards.

I know I’m not the best at this yet, but I’ve been practicing and I’ve seen some improvement. Let’s focus on what I’ve done well so far and how we can build on that.

Use Humor to Diffuse the Situation

Sometimes, a well-timed joke or a lighthearted comment can help to diffuse the tension and lighten the mood.

Hey, I guess I won’t be giving up my day job to become a pro at this anytime soon! But seriously, thanks for keeping it real with me.

Agree to Disagree and Move Forward

You don’t have to agree with your friend’s assessment, and it’s okay to have differing opinions. What’s important is that you’re able to move forward and continue to support each other.

I understand why you might think that, but I disagree. Let’s agree to disagree and focus on how we can work together to achieve our goals.

Show Appreciation for Their Concern

Lastly, make sure to show your friend that you appreciate their concern for your well-being and their willingness to speak up.

Thanks for looking out for me, even if it’s not always easy to hear. I appreciate your friendship and your honesty.

In conclusion, responding to You’re not good at this from a friend requires empathy, understanding, and effective communication. By staying calm, acknowledging their concerns, reframing the conversation, using humor, agreeing to disagree, and showing appreciation for their concern, you can turn a potentially negative situation into a positive and productive one. Remember, true friends help each other grow and improve, and with the right response, you can strengthen your friendship and come out even stronger on the other side.

Be kind ❤