What to say when your kids ask “Will you still be friends with Mom/Dad?”

Handling conversations with kids can be a delicate matter, especially when they ask sensitive questions about your relationships or your ex-partner. One common concern kids may have after a divorce or separation is whether you will still be friends with their other parent. This question can be a complex one, and it’s essential to approach it with care and sensitivity.

When your child asks, Will you still be friends with Mom/Dad?, it’s crucial to respond in a way that reassures them and addresses their concerns. Here are some strategies and example responses to help you navigate this conversation:

Validate their feelings
Acknowledge your child’s emotions and let them know that it’s okay to feel worried or concerned about the situation.

I know you’re worried about Mom and me being friends, and that’s totally normal. It’s a big change for all of us.

Explain the situation
Provide a clear and age-appropriate explanation of your relationship with their other parent. Be honest, but also be mindful of your child’s emotional well-being.

Mom and I are not going to be together anymore, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still be friends. We both love you very much, and we want what’s best for you.

Focus on the positive
Emphasize the positive aspects of your co-parenting relationship and how it will benefit your child.

Even though Mom and I aren’t together, we’re both still your parents, and we’ll work together to make sure you have everything you need. We’ll still have dinner together as a family sometimes, and we’ll always be there for you.

Reassure them of your love
Let your child know that your love for them is unwavering and that you’ll always be there to support them, regardless of your relationship with their other parent.

No matter what happens with Mom and me, you will always be loved and taken care of. We both love you so much, and that will never change.

Listen and empathize
Listen to your child’s concerns and empathize with their feelings. This will help them feel heard and understood.

I know it’s hard to see Mom and me apart, but we’re doing our best to make this work. How are you feeling about all of this?

Keep it age-appropriate
Tailor your response to your child’s age and developmental stage. Be honest, but also be mindful of what they can understand and process.

Mom and I will always be friends because we both love you so much, and we want to make sure you’re happy and healthy. We might not live together, but we’ll still have fun together sometimes. (For younger children)

Mom and I are still going to be friends, and we’ll work together to co-parent you. We might not be in a romantic relationship, but we care about each other as people, and we’ll support each other as co-parents. (For older children)

Here are some additional example sentences to help you respond to your child’s question:

We’ll still have family game nights and vacations together, just like before.

Mom and I will still support you at your sports games and school events.

We’ll make sure to communicate with each other about what’s best for you, even if we’re not living together.

You’ll still have two parents who love and care for you, no matter what.

We might not be a traditional family, but we’ll make our own way and make it work for everyone.

We’ll always be respectful and kind to each other, even if we’re not together.

You’ll always have a home with both of us, no matter what happens.

We’ll work together to make sure you have a happy and healthy childhood.

We love you more than anything, and that will never change, no matter what happens with us.

In conclusion, when your child asks if you’ll still be friends with their other parent, it’s essential to respond with empathy, honesty, and reassurance. By using these strategies and example responses, you can help your child feel more secure and confident in their relationships with both parents. Remember, kids are resilient, and with love, support, and open communication, they can thrive even in the face of change.

Be kind ❤

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