What to say when they say “You’re not being yourself lately”

Dealing with criticism about our behavior or personality can be a sensitive topic, especially when it comes from someone close to us. When someone says You’re not being yourself lately, it can be both hurtful and thought-provoking. It’s essential to handle this situation with care, empathy, and honesty to avoid escalating the issue or jeopardizing the relationship.

Firstly, it’s crucial to acknowledge the concern and show that you’re open to listening. A simple response like

I appreciate your honesty, can you tell me more about what you mean by that?

can help set the tone for a constructive conversation. By asking for clarification, you’re showing that you value their opinion and are willing to introspect.

However, it’s also important to assert your feelings and emotions in this situation. You might respond with

I understand what you’re saying, but I’ve been feeling overwhelmed/stressed/anxious lately, and it’s affecting my behavior.

This statement acknowledges their concern while also providing context for your recent behavior.

Another approach is to ask for specific examples of what they mean by not being yourself. A response like

Can you give me some specific instances where you felt I wasn’t being myself?

helps to pinpoint the exact issues and allows you to address them more effectively.

Additionally, you can express gratitude for their concern and acknowledge that you’re willing to work on yourself. For example,

Thank you for looking out for me, I appreciate your concern, and I’ll definitely take some time to reflect on my behavior and see where I can improve.

It’s also important to remember that their comment might be based on their own perceptions or biases. You might respond with

I understand where you’re coming from, but I think you might be misinterpreting some of my actions. Let me explain what was going on from my perspective.

This approach helps to clear up any misconceptions and provides an opportunity to share your side of the story.

In some cases, their comment might be a genuine expression of concern for your well-being. A response like

Thanks for noticing, I have been struggling with some personal issues lately. Your support means a lot to me.

shows that you appreciate their empathy and are willing to open up about your challenges.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or defensive, it’s essential to take a step back and prioritize your own emotional well-being. You might respond with

I appreciate your concern, but I need some time to process my thoughts and emotions. Can we talk about this later when I’m feeling more centered?

Lastly, remember that it’s okay to respectfully disagree with their assessment. A response like

I understand where you’re coming from, but I think I’m still being myself, even if I’ve made some changes. Can we discuss what specifically is making you feel that way?

helps to maintain a healthy dialogue while also asserting your autonomy.

In conclusion, when someone says You’re not being yourself lately, it’s essential to approach the conversation with empathy, honesty, and an open mind. By acknowledging their concern, expressing your feelings, and seeking clarification, you can work towards a more constructive and meaningful conversation. Remember, your mental health and well-being are paramount, and it’s essential to prioritize them in the face of criticism or concern.

Be kind ❤

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