What to say when someone is being elusive online

When interacting with others online, it’s not uncommon to encounter individuals who are being elusive or vague in their responses. This can be frustrating, especially when trying to have a productive conversation or resolve an issue. In such situations, it’s essential to know how to navigate the conversation effectively to get the desired outcome.

One of the most important things to remember when dealing with someone who is being elusive online is to stay calm and composed. Avoid getting defensive or aggressive, as this can escalate the situation and make the other person even more reluctant to open up. Instead, focus on asking open-ended questions that encourage the other person to share more information.

For instance, if someone is being vague about their intentions or plans, you could say:

Hey, can you elaborate on what you mean by that? I want to make sure I understand your perspective.


Could you give me a specific example of what you’re referring to? I’m not quite sure I understand.

By asking open-ended questions, you’re encouraging the other person to provide more information, which can help to clear up any misunderstandings and move the conversation forward.

Another strategy is to use reflective listening, where you paraphrase what the other person has said to ensure you understand their perspective. This can help to build trust and show that you’re actively listening to what they’re saying. For example:

Just to make sure I understand, you’re saying that… ?


So, what I hear you saying is that… ?

Reflective listening can be a powerful tool in online conversations, as it helps to prevent miscommunications and ensures that both parties are on the same page.

If someone is being elusive because they’re hiding information or not being truthful, it’s essential to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Avoid being accusatory or confrontational, as this can put the other person on the defensive and make them even more closed off.

Instead, try to approach the conversation with a non-judgmental attitude and a willingness to listen. For example:

I sense that there might be more to the story. Is there something you’re not telling me?


I’m getting the feeling that you’re not entirely comfortable sharing this information. Is everything okay?

By showing empathy and understanding, you can help to create a safe space for the other person to open up and share more information.

It’s also essential to be aware of your tone and language when communicating online. Avoid using aggressive or confrontational language, which can put the other person on the defensive and make them more elusive. Instead, focus on using I statements, which can help to convey your thoughts and feelings without coming across as accusatory. For example:

I feel frustrated when I don’t get a straight answer. Can you help me understand what’s going on?


I’m concerned that we’re not on the same page. Can we start over and try to clarify things?

By using I statements, you’re taking ownership of your emotions and thoughts, which can help to prevent miscommunications and promote a more constructive conversation.

Finally, it’s crucial to know when to walk away from a conversation that’s not productive or respectful. If someone is consistently being elusive or refusing to engage in a constructive conversation, it may be necessary to re-evaluate the relationship or conversation.

In conclusion, dealing with someone who is being elusive online requires patience, empathy, and effective communication strategies. By staying calm, asking open-ended questions, using reflective listening, and approaching the conversation with empathy, you can increase the chances of getting to the bottom of the issue and finding a resolution. Remember to prioritize respect and understanding in your online interactions, and don’t be afraid to walk away from a conversation that’s not serving you.

Be kind ❤

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