Replying to “You never listen to me”

When someone accuses us of not listening to them, it can be a sensitive and emotionally charged topic. In romantic relationships, effective communication is crucial to navigate conflicts and strengthen the bond between partners. So, what can you say when your partner claims, You never listen to me?

To handle this situation effectively, it’s essential to remain calm, empathetic, and open to understanding their concerns. Here are some strategies and example responses to help you reply constructively:

Acknowledge their feelings
Show your partner that you’re committed to listening and understanding their emotions.

I can see why you’d feel that way. Can you help me understand what’s made you feel like I’m not listening?

I feel bad that you’ve been feeling ignored. Let’s talk about what’s been going on and how I can do better.

Reflect on your actions
Take a step back and consider whether there have been instances where you might have unintentionally dismissed or overlooked your partner’s concerns.

You know what, I think about our last conversation, and I realize I might have been distracted. Sorry about that. Can we restart the conversation now that I’m fully present?

I remember when we discussed (topic..) and I didn’t give you the attention you deserved. That was my mistake. Let’s try that conversation again.

Seek clarification
Ask questions to understand what your partner means by you never listen to me. This helps you identify specific issues and address them together.

What specifically makes you feel like I’m not listening? Is it something I said or did that made you feel that way?

Can you give me an example of a time when you felt like I wasn’t listening? I want to understand what happened.

Offer a solution
Work together to find ways to improve communication and ensure your partner feels heard.

Next time we talk, can I make a conscious effort to maintain eye contact and avoid interrupting? Would that help you feel more heard?

Let’s set aside dedicated time to talk about important topics. That way, we can both focus on the conversation.

Apologize sincerely
If you’ve realized you have been neglecting your partner’s concerns, own up to it and apologize genuinely.

I’m truly sorry if I’ve made you feel ignored or dismissed. That was not my intention, and I’ll do better moving forward.

I realize I haven’t been the best listener lately, and for that, I’m sorry. I’ll make a conscious effort to do better.

When responding to You never listen to me, remember to maintain a non-defensive tone, focus on understanding your partner’s perspective, and work together to find solutions. By doing so, you can strengthen your connection and create a more supportive and empathetic relationship.

In conclusion, effective communication is a two-way street that requires attention, empathy, and a willingness to grow together. By employing these strategies and example responses, you can turn a potentially confrontational conversation into an opportunity for growth and deeper understanding in your romantic relationship.

Be kind ❤

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