How to respond to “You’ll get over it, it’s just a phase”

When someone dismisses our feelings with a flippant You’ll get over it, it’s just a phase, it can be infuriating. The implication is that our emotions aren’t valid, that we’re just being dramatic or childish. But what if we’re not just being hormonal or moody? What if we’re actually going through a tough time, and we need some understanding and support?

The thing is, You’ll get over it, it’s just a phase is not only unhelpful, but it’s also dismissive and unempathetic. It’s like saying, Oh, you’re just feeling sad/angry/upset? That’s cute. You’ll get over it eventually. Newsflash: our emotions are complex, and sometimes they need to be acknowledged and validated.

So, how do we respond to this kind of dismissiveness? Here are some strategies to help you navigate these situations:

Strategy 1: Acknowledge and Reframe

  • I understand that you think I’ll get over it, but right now, I’m really struggling with this. Can we talk about what’s going on and find a way to move forward together?

  • I appreciate your optimism, but I need some support and understanding right now. Can you help me with that?

Strategy 2: Express Your Feelings

  • To be honest, when you say ‘it’s just a phase,’ it makes me feel like my feelings aren’t valid. Can we talk about what’s really going on and how I can get some support?

  • I know you might think I’m being dramatic, but this is really tough for me. Can we find a way to make me feel heard and understood?

Strategy 3: Encourage Empathy

  • Can you try to understand where I’m coming from? This is really hard for me, and I need some empathy right now.

  • I know you’re trying to help, but dismissing my feelings isn’t helping. Can we try to find a more supportive way to talk about this?

Strategy 4: Seek Clarification

  • What do you mean by ‘it’s just a phase’? Are you saying that my feelings are temporary or that I’ll get over it eventually?

  • How do you think I can move forward from this? I’m not sure what you mean by ‘it’s just a phase’ in this context

Strategy 5: Set Boundaries

  • I understand that you might think I’ll get over it, but I need some space to process my emotions right now. Can we talk about this later?

  • I appreciate your concern, but I need some time to focus on myself. Can we catch up later when I’m feeling better?

Remember, responding to You’ll get over it, it’s just a phase requires empathy, understanding, and a willingness to listen. By using these strategies, you can help shift the conversation from dismissive to supportive, and get the understanding and validation you need.

As the amazing Brené Brown once said, You can’t get to courage without walking through vulnerability. So, let’s walk through that vulnerability together, and create a space for open, honest, and supportive conversations.

In conclusion, responding to You’ll get over it, it’s just a phase is not about being confrontational or defensive – it’s about being honest, empathetic, and supportive. By using these strategies, you can create a safe space for yourself and others to express their emotions, and cultivate a culture of understanding and compassion.

Be kind ❤

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