How to respond to “It’s not faaaaair!”

As parents, we’ve all been there – our little ones throws a tantrum, proclaiming that life is unfair, and we’re left wondering how to respond. It’s not easy, but with the right strategies, we can turn those meltdowns into opportunities for growth and connection.

The first step is to acknowledge their feelings. When your child says It’s not faaaaair!, try responding with empathy and understanding. This helps your child feel heard and validated, which can diffuse the tantrum and create a sense of calm.

I can see why you’re feeling that way. It can be really frustrating when things don’t go our way.


You’re right, it doesn’t seem fair. Can you tell me more about what’s bothering you?

Next, help your child identify the root cause of their frustration. Is it because they didn’t get what they wanted, or because someone else got something they didn’t? Once you understand the source, you can start working together to find a solution.

What’s bothering you most about this situation? Is there something specific that’s making you feel left out?


Let’s take a deep breath and think this through. What do you think we can do to make it more fair?

It’s also essential to set clear boundaries and explain the reasoning behind your decisions. Sometimes, kids just need to understand why things are the way they are.

I know you want to play with your tablet, but we have rules about screen time for a reason. It’s to help you stay healthy and focused on your studies.


I understand you wanted to go to the park, but we had to cancel because of the rain. Let’s find another fun activity we can do together instead.

When your child feels heard, validated, and understood, they’re more likely to calm down and listen to reason. Remember, as a parent, you’re not only teaching your child about fairness but also about resilience, empathy, and problem-solving.

I know it’s tough when things don’t go our way, but we can face this together. Let’s find a way to make it work.


You know what? Life isn’t always fair, but we can learn to handle it with kindness, patience, and understanding. You’re growing up to be an amazing person!

As you respond to your child’s cries of It’s not faaaaair!, remember that these moments are opportunities to connect, teach, and guide. By staying calm, empathetic, and firm, you’ll help your child develop essential life skills and a more resilient mindset.

You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask for. Let’s focus on the positive and move forward together.


I love you, and I’m proud of you for trying your best. Sometimes, we have to adapt and find new ways to solve problems. You’re capable of that!

In the midst of tantrums and meltdowns, it’s easy to lose patience and temper. But with these strategies, you’ll be better equipped to respond to your child’s cries of It’s not faaaaair! and guide them toward a more empathetic, understanding, and resilient you.

You know what, kiddo? I think we can both learn from this experience. Let’s take a deep breath and start fresh.


You’re not alone in feeling frustrated. We all get upset sometimes. Let’s work together to find a solution.

As you navigate the ups and downs of parenting, remember that every responding to It’s not faaaaair! is an opportunity to build trust, model empathy, and shape the person your child will become. By staying patient, empathetic, and firm, you’ll help your child develop a stronger sense of self and a more compassionate heart.

I believe in you, kiddo. You’re capable of handling tough situations and coming out stronger on the other side.


Remember, I’m here for you, always. We’ll face challenges together, and we’ll grow stronger because of it.

And when all else fails, take a deep breath, hug your child, and whisper,

You’re not alone, kiddo. We’re in this together.

By doing so, you’ll not only calm the storm but also create a lifelong bond built on understanding, empathy, and love.

Be kind ❤

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