How to respond thoughtfully to a friend who judges non‑iMessage users

When a friend slips into a judgmental tone about people who don’t use iMessage, the conversation can turn tense fast. Knowing how to reply with calm, respect and a hint of humor helps keep the friendship strong and the chat pleasant.

Step 1 – Stay calm and take a breath

First thing is to pause. A quick breath gives you space to choose words that calm rather than inflame.

I hear you feel iMessage is smoother

I get why you love read receipts

Step 2 – Acknowledge feelings without agreeing

Show you hear the sentiment, then steer away from the blame game.

  • I see you enjoy the blue bubbles.

  • I know you appreciate the typing indicator.

I see you love the blue bubble look

I know you like the typing dots

Step 3 – Share a personal story

A short anecdote reminds both of you that everyone has quirks.

I once used a phone that didn’t support iMessage, and I still kept in touch with friends through texts and memes.

I used a phone without iMessage for a year and still stayed close

I kept chatting with friends even when my phone lacked the feature

Step 4 – Offer a neutral fact

Facts keep the talk grounded.

  • iMessage works only on Apple devices.

  • SMS reaches every phone, even older models.

iMessage only works on Apple phones

SMS reaches any phone no matter the brand

Step 5 – Invite perspective sharing

Ask open‑ended questions that let your friend explain without feeling attacked.

  • What part of iMessage do you find most useful?

  • How does the lack of read receipts affect your chats?

What part of iMessage do you love most

How do you feel when you don’t see a read receipt

Step 6 – Suggest a middle ground

Offer a solution that respects both sides.

  • We could use iMessage when we’re both on Apple, and SMS otherwise.

  • Group chats could stay on a platform that works for everyone.

We could use iMessage when both have Apple phones

Let’s keep the group chat on a platform everyone can use

Step 7 – Use light humor if it fits

A gentle joke can melt tension, but be sure it feels natural.

  • I’m not a robot, I just don’t have the blue bubble.

  • My carrier gave me a prize for sending lots of SMS.

I’m not a robot, I just don’t have the blue bubble

My carrier gave me a prize for sending lots of SMS

Step 8 – Set a friendly boundary if needed

If the judgment continues, politely let your friend know the line.

  • I enjoy our chats, but I’d prefer no comments about my phone choice.

  • Let’s keep the focus on the message, not the messenger.

I enjoy our chats but prefer no comments about my phone

Let’s keep focus on the message not the messenger

Step 9 – End on a positive note

Close the exchange with gratitude or a plan for the next talk.

  • Thanks for sharing your view, I’ll try the feature next time.

  • Looking forward to our next conversation, blue bubbles or not.

Thanks for sharing your view I’ll try the feature next time

Looking forward to our next chat blue bubbles or not


By listening, acknowledging, sharing a story, giving facts, asking gentle questions, proposing compromise, adding a touch of humor, and setting a kind boundary, you can turn a judgmental comment into a chance for deeper understanding. Your reply doesn’t have to be perfect; it just needs to show respect, honesty and a willingness to keep the friendship going.

Be kind ❤

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