How to reply when you’re told you should “just get over it”

When someone tells you to “get over it,” the comment can feel dismissive and hurtful. Your reply matters because it shows you respect your own feelings while keeping the conversation constructive. Below are practical steps that help you answer with confidence and calm.

Step 1: Take a breath before you speak
A quick pause gives you a moment to collect thoughts. You avoid reacting in anger, which can make the other person defensive.

I hear you, and I need a moment to think before I answer.

I appreciate your input, but I would like a minute to process my feelings.

Step 2: Acknowledge the other person’s view without agreeing
You can validate that they tried to help, yet you still own your experience.

I see you tried to help, however I still feel unsettled.

Your perspective is noted, yet my emotions remain.

Step 3: State how the comment made you feel
Clear language lets the listener know the impact of their words.

When I hear get over it, I feel brushed aside.

That phrase makes me feel unheard and alone.

Step 4: Set a boundary if needed
Boundaries protect your mental space and guide future talks.

I would prefer we discuss this later when we both feel calmer.

Let’s keep this conversation respectful, I won’t accept dismissive remarks.

Step 5: Offer a brief explanation of your experience
Sharing a snippet can turn the exchange into a learning moment.

I am coping with grief, which takes time to heal.

My anxiety spikes when I am told to move on quickly.

Step 6: Suggest an alternative way to help
Redirect the dialogue toward constructive support.

If you want to help, listening without judgment works best.

I value advice that includes steps I can try, not just a quick fix.

Step 7: Use “I” statements to keep focus on yourself
“I” statements reduce blame and keep the tone personal.

I feel overwhelmed when my feelings are minimized.

I need space to work through this at my own pace.

Step 8: Invite them to ask questions if they are sincere
Showing openness can turn a tense moment into a deeper connection.

If you wonder why I’m struggling, feel free to ask.

I’m happy to share more if you truly want to understand.

Step 9: End with a calm affirmation
A closing line reinforces your stance without escalating tension.

I respect your concern, and I will keep working on my healing.

Thank you for listening, I will let you know when I’m ready to talk more.

Additional tips for handling similar remarks

  • Keep eye contact, but don’t stare.
  • Speak in a steady voice; avoid raising it.
  • If the person persists, politely end the chat: “I need to step away now.”

Example phrases you can use in different moments

I understand you mean well, yet I still feel hurt.

Your comment feels like a dismissal of my pain.

I would like to hear more about why you think that, but first I need my feelings heard.

Let’s focus on how we can support each other instead of quick fixes.

I need time to sort through these emotions before I can move forward.

I appreciate the suggestion, however I am not ready for that step yet.

Hearing get over it makes my anxiety rise.

I prefer advice that includes coping tools, not just a label.

If you have resources that helped you, I would like to hear them.

I’m open to talking later when I have more clarity.

Your words feel like they push my feelings aside.

I would ask you to pause before giving advice next time.

Let’s agree to keep this dialogue respectful.

I need a break from this topic for now.

Thank you for caring, I will let you know how I’m doing.

I’m working on healing, and it takes more than a quick phrase.

Please listen without trying to fix everything at once.

I value your support, but I also need space to process.

When I’m ready, I’ll share more about what I’m experiencing.

I hope we can both learn from this conversation.

I’m grateful you care, even if we see things differently.

Let’s try a different approach that honors both of our perspectives.

Remember, you have the right to protect your emotional wellbeing. By responding with calm clarity, you model healthy communication and give yourself room to heal. Your voice matters, and speaking it thoughtfully can turn a dismissive comment into an opportunity for growth.

Be kind ❤

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