Step 1: Spot the pattern in texting

When a friend keeps steering every chat toward iMessage, you’ll start to feel left out or annoyed.
Look for clues such as:

• Frequent mentions of “iMessage only” in group chats
• Quick replies only when the conversation is on an Apple device
• Subtle hints that non‑Apple apps are “slow” or “clunky”

Once you see the trend, you’re ready to bring it up without sounding accusatory.

I’ve seen you prefer iMessage even when most of us use other apps.

Step 2: Choose the right moment

A calm, private setting works best.
If you bring it up while a heated argument is happening, the friend may shut down.

Can we talk about our texting habits sometime later today?

Step 3: Use “I” statements

Speak from your own experience instead of blaming.
“This makes me feel excluded” becomes “I feel excluded when the chat switches to iMessage.”

I feel left out when the group switches to iMessage without asking.

Step 4: Offer alternatives

Suggest a platform that works for everyone.
You might say, “What if we try a shared thread on WhatsApp for the next week?”

What do you think about using WhatsApp for the next few days?

Step 5: Listen actively

Give your friend a chance to explain.
They may not realize the habit is a problem.

I’m curious why iMessage feels like the best choice for you.

Step 6: Set a simple rule

Agree on a guideline such as “we’ll keep the group on the app most people have.”
Write the rule down in the chat so it’s clear.

Let’s agree to stay on the app most people already have installed.

Step 7: Follow up politely

After a few days, check in to see if the new rule sticks.

How’s the new texting setup working for you?

Step 8: Keep the tone friendly

Even if frustration builds, keep words light.
A joke can defuse tension: “Looks like iMessage is trying to become a club exclusive!”

Looks like iMessage wants to be a secret club, huh?

Step 9: Know when to back off

If the friend resists despite several attempts, give space.
Pressuring too hard can damage the relationship.

I’ll let you decide which app works best for you.

Step 10: Reflect on the outcome

Ask yourself whether the conversation improved the situation.
If not, consider whether texting style is a deal‑breaker for the friendship.

I’m glad we found a middle ground on texting.

Additional handy phrases you can drop into the chat

I appreciate you being open about your preference.

Do you think a mixed‑platform approach could work?

I’m happy to switch if it makes group talks smoother.

Your iMessage notifications seem to go off all the time.

Let’s try a quick poll to see which app most of us use.

I’m not a fan of constantly swapping apps.

Could we set a reminder to check which platform is active?

I feel the conversation flows better when we all use the same app.

Your quick replies on iMessage are impressive.

I’d love to keep the chat easy for everyone.

Tips for staying calm

• Take a deep breath before typing.
• Write a draft, read it out loud, then edit.
• Avoid all caps; it feels like shouting.

Common pitfalls to avoid

• Accusing the friend of “being selfish.”
• Using sarcasm that might be misread.
• Dropping the subject before a solution is reached.

Remember, the goal is to keep the friendship strong while making texting a smooth experience for all. By watching the pattern, speaking kindly, and offering clear alternatives, you can turn an iMessage‑centric habit into a shared, hassle‑free way to stay connected.

Be kind ❤