When a friend constantly puts down people who don’t use iMessage, the vibe in a group chat can turn sour. Below are practical steps you can take to address the habit without ruining the friendship.
Notice the pattern
First, pay attention to how often the friend makes comments about non‑iMessage users. Write down a few examples so you have concrete details ready.
I’m sorry if my comment seemed harsh toward people who use other texting apps.
Do you notice how often you tease users who aren’t on iMessage?
Choose the right moment
Bring up the issue when you both are relaxed, not in the middle of a heated exchange. A calm setting helps the friend hear you without feeling attacked.
Let’s talk about why you feel the need to put others down.
When you make a joke about non‑iMessage users, I feel uncomfortable.
Use clear, respectful language
Speak from your own feelings rather than accusing. This keeps the focus on how the remarks affect you and the group.
I appreciate your humor, but jokes about other apps feel hurtful.
Perhaps we try a different kind of joke?
You might share a funny meme without mentioning phone platforms.
Offer alternatives
Suggest ways to keep the chat lively without targeting anyone’s choice of app.
Let’s find a way to keep the chat fun for everyone.
Would a rule to avoid platform jokes help?
What if we use emojis instead of platform jokes?
Highlight the impact
Help your friend see the ripple effect of their comments on group dynamics.
I value our friendship, so I want to bring this up.
Do you think your comments affect how others see you?
When you say something like iMessage is better, I feel the group split.
Encourage self‑reflection
Ask gentle questions that prompt the friend to consider their motives.
Perhaps asking why you feel that way helps.
Do you feel comfortable sharing why iMessage matters so much to you?
Perhaps we can all share tips for using different texting services.
Set a gentle reminder system
If the habit slips, a quick, friendly nudge can keep things on track.
If you notice a slip, a gentle reminder works.
Your willingness to change will keep friendships strong.
Follow up
After the conversation, check in later to see if the tone has improved. Positive reinforcement encourages lasting change.
Your feedback means a lot, so I trust you’ll think about this.
Thanks for listening, I know this isn’t easy.
Quick reference list
- Notice how often platform jokes appear.
- Pick a calm moment to talk.
- Use “I feel” statements.
- Suggest fun alternatives.
- Ask open‑ended questions.
- Offer a simple reminder rule.
- Follow up with gratitude.
By approaching the issue with empathy and concrete suggestions, you give your friend a chance to adjust their behavior while preserving the friendship. Remember, respectful texting habits keep the group close and the conversation enjoyable for everyone.
Be kind ❤
