When a child tells you “I don’t know where to get extra help,” it is a signal that they feel stuck and need guidance. Your response can turn uncertainty into a plan. Below are practical ways to keep the conversation supportive and clear.
Listen first, then respond
Give the child space to explain what they tried already. A short pause shows you care and avoids jumping to solutions too fast.
I hear you’re not sure where to turn, let’s talk about what you have already tried.
Tell me what you looked for so far, I want to understand your steps.
After they share, repeat a key point back to confirm you heard correctly. This simple echo lets them feel validated.
Offer concrete options
Instead of vague advice, name specific resources. Mention the school counselor, a tutoring center, or an online video that matches the topic.
- Talk to the teacher after class and ask for a brief meeting.
- Check the library for a study guide that covers the same chapter.
- Explore a free website that explains the concept with short videos.
Your math teacher offers a 15‑minute office hour on Tuesdays, that could be a good start.
The school library has a guide for the science unit you’re working on.
Keep the tone encouraging
Avoid language that sounds like criticism. Use words that reinforce effort.
You’ve already tried a lot, let’s add another tool to your toolbox.
Your hard work shows, a little extra help will boost what you already know.
Ask open‑ended questions
Questions that cannot be answered with a simple yes or no invite the child to think about next steps.
What kind of support feels most comfortable for you?
Which subject feels hardest right now, and why do you think that is?
Model the process
Walk through how you would find help for a problem you face. Seeing the steps makes the task less mysterious.
When I needed help with my taxes, I called the helpline and asked for a guide, you could call the school office in the same way.
I looked up a tutorial video, saved the link, and watched it twice, you could try saving a video too.
Set a small, achievable goal
Break the search into one bite‑size action. A single step reduces overwhelm.
Let’s write down the teacher’s email address now, then you can send a short note tomorrow.
Pick one book from the shelf today, and read the first chapter together.
Follow up gently
After the child takes a step, check in without pressure.
Did you get a reply from the counselor? How did it feel?
How was the video you watched? Did it clear up the question?
Celebrate progress
Even tiny moves deserve praise. Recognition keeps motivation high.
You reached out for help, that’s a big win.
You found a new resource, great job exploring.
Keep the conversation ongoing
Make it clear that help is always available, not just a one‑time offer.
Whenever you feel stuck again, just let me know, we’ll figure it out together.
If a new challenge pops up, we can repeat this process.
Sample dialogue flow
Below is a sample exchange that strings the tips together.
I’m not sure where to get extra help.
I hear that you feel lost, can you tell me what you already tried?
I asked my friend, but they didn’t understand either.
Your friend tried, that’s good. Let’s look at two more options: the teacher’s office hour and the library guide.
Okay, I can email the teacher.
Great, write a short note now, then we’ll check the library after school.
Done. I’ll pick a guide later.
Excellent, you’ve taken two steps. I’ll be here if you need anything else.
Quick reference list for parents
- Listen without interrupting.
- Echo the child’s words to show understanding.
- Name 2‑3 specific resources.
- Ask open‑ended questions.
- Demonstrate how you find help.
- Set one tiny goal.
- Check in after the action.
- Praise the effort.
- Offer ongoing support.
By turning “I don’t know where to get extra help” into a roadmap, you give your child a clear path forward and show that asking for help is a normal part of learning. Your steady presence turns uncertainty into confidence, and that confidence will grow each time a new step is taken.
Be kind ❤
