What to say when a colleague confides “My grades are way below expectations”

When a coworker opens up about grades that are far below what they hoped for, the moment can feel delicate. You want to be supportive without sounding preachy, and you need to keep the friendship vibe alive even though it’s a work setting. Below are practical steps you can follow, plus ready‑to‑use sentences that help you find the right words.

Step 1 – Listen first, talk later

Give your colleague space to share the whole story. Nod, keep eye contact, and let them finish before you add anything.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.

It sounds like you’ve been putting in a lot of effort.

Tell me more about what’s been hardest for you.

A short pause after they finish shows you respect what they said. Avoid interrupting or jumping to solutions right away.

Step 2 – Validate the feeling

People often need to hear that their emotions are legitimate. Use simple language that mirrors their sentiment.

It’s understandable to feel upset when results don’t match the work you put in.

Feeling discouraged after a setback is normal.

Your frustration makes sense given how much you cared about those grades.

When you repeat back a feeling, the speaker feels heard. It also gives you a chance to check that you understood correctly.

Step 3 – Ask open‑ended questions

Open questions encourage deeper sharing and show you care about the whole picture.

What part of the material felt most confusing for you?

How have you tried to tackle the challenges so far?

Which resources have you looked at to improve?

These questions do not push a solution; they simply invite reflection.

Step 4 – Share a personal anecdote (optional)

A brief story about a similar experience can make you relatable, but keep it short and focused on empathy.

When I got a low score in my first project, I felt lost too, but I found a study group that helped a lot.

Last semester I also missed my target, and talking with a mentor turned things around.

Don’t turn the talk into a lecture. The goal is to let them know they’re not alone.

Step 5 – Offer concrete help, not vague advice

People appreciate specific suggestions they can act on.

Would you like me to share some notes from the class?

I can introduce you to a colleague who mastered that topic.

Let’s schedule a quick review session this week.

If they decline, respect the choice and keep the door open.

Step 6 – Encourage a growth mindset

Help them see the setback as a stepping stone rather than a final verdict.

Every setback can point out a spot to improve.

You have the chance to adjust your approach before the next exam.

Seeing where you fell short can guide your next steps.

Use language that feels hopeful without sounding forced.

Step 7 – Set boundaries if needed

Sometimes a colleague may want to vent for a long time. It’s okay to gently guide the conversation.

I’m happy to listen, but I have a meeting soon.

Let’s pick a time later to talk more in depth.

I need to finish this task, but I’ll check back with you later.

This keeps the friendship professional and respects both parties’ time.

Step 8 – Follow up

A short check‑in shows you truly care.

How did the study session go?

Did the new plan help with the next test?

Let me know if you need anything else.

A simple message a few days later can boost morale and strengthen the bond.

Quick reference list of sentences you can copy‑paste