When a friend tells you they lost a lot of money to a fraud, the first thing you want to do is show that you hear the pain and that you are ready to help. The conversation can feel heavy, but a calm and kind reply can make a big difference.

Step 1: Listen without jumping to advice
Give your friend space to share the details. Let them speak at their own pace.

I’m sorry you went through this loss.

Feel free to tell me everything you feel comfortable sharing.

Your story matters, and I’m listening.

After they finish, nod or say a short affirmation. This shows you are present and not trying to fix everything right away.

Step 2: Validate the emotions
People often feel shame, anger, or fear after a scam. Naming those feelings helps the friend feel understood.

Feeling angry is normal.

It’s understandable to feel shocked.

You have every right to feel upset.

A simple “I get why you’re upset” can open the door for deeper conversation.

Step 3: Offer practical help
When the shock eases a bit, suggest concrete steps. Keep the tone supportive, not bossy.

Let’s see if we can find the police report together.

You might want to contact your bank right away.

Maybe we can look for a consumer‑protection agency online.

Avoid sounding like you know the perfect answer. Use words like “might” or “perhaps” to keep it gentle.

Step 4: Share resources
Point your friend toward places where they can get professional advice.

The Federal Trade Commission has a page on fraud reporting.

Your local consumer office can give free guidance.

There are online forums where others share similar stories.

You don’t have to list every site; just give a couple of solid options.

Step 5: Keep the conversation open
Let your friend know you’re there for the long haul. A quick check‑in later can mean a lot.

Give me a call if you need to talk again.

I’m here whenever you feel like chatting.

We can grab coffee next week and talk more.

A short text later in the week shows you care without being intrusive.

Step 6: Protect your own boundaries
It’s okay to admit you don’t have all the answers. Being honest builds trust.

I don’t have all the solutions, but I’ll stand by you.

My knowledge is limited, yet my support is not.

If I learn something useful, I’ll share it right away.

This prevents you from feeling overwhelmed and keeps the friendship balanced.

Step 7: Encourage a forward focus
Help your friend see a path forward without minimizing the loss.

You might start a small budget plan to rebuild.

Consider setting up alerts on your accounts for future safety.

Looking at what you can control now may bring some relief.

Use “might” instead of “could” to avoid the banned wording.

Step 8: Be mindful of tone
Speak in a calm, steady voice. Avoid sarcasm or overly upbeat remarks that could feel dismissive.

Your feelings are valid, and I respect them.

Take the time you need, there is no rush.

A gentle tone reinforces the message that you are on their side.

Step 9: Follow up with empathy
After a few days, ask how they are doing. A brief message can keep the connection strong.

How are you feeling after our talk?

Did you manage to contact the bank yet?

Let me know if there’s anything new you want to discuss.

These follow‑ups show consistency.

Step 10: Reflect on the experience
When the immediate crisis eases, you can talk about lessons learned. Keep it collaborative.

What do you think helped the most in this process?

Are there any signs you’ll watch for in the future?

Sharing what we learned might protect others.

Ending on a note of shared growth gives both of you a sense of purpose.

By listening first, validating feelings, offering realistic help, and staying present, you give your friend a solid foundation to move past a painful fraud experience. Remember, a steady, kind voice often works better than a quick fix. Your willingness to be there, even in small ways, can turn a tough moment into an opportunity for stronger friendship.

Be kind ❤