Understanding the issue
When a friend constantly points out that people without iMessage are “out of the loop,” the conversation can turn sour. The goal is to keep the chat friendly, respect the other person’s feelings, and gently shift the tone.
Step 1: Pause before you reply
Give yourself a moment to think. A quick breath helps you avoid snapping back.
I hear what you’re saying, and I think there’s more to it.
Step 2: Acknowledge the feeling
People often talk about iMessage because they feel left out when messages appear as “Read” or “Delivered.” Show you get that.
It can be frustrating when you don’t see the same status updates.
Step 3: Offer a neutral fact
Mention that iMessage works only on Apple devices, and that’s a technical limit, not a personal judgment.
iMessage only runs on iPhones, iPads and Macs, so not everyone can use it.
Step 4: Reframe the conversation
Guide the chat toward what matters: the content of the message, not the platform.
What really matters is the message itself, not how it’s sent.
Let’s focus on the idea behind the text rather than the app.
Step 5: Suggest inclusive alternatives
If the friend is looking for a smoother group chat, propose apps that work on any phone.
We could try a group chat in WhatsApp, it works on Android and iOS.
A simple SMS thread might keep everyone in the loop.
Step 6: Use humor carefully
A light joke can defuse tension, but keep it friendly.
Looks like my Android is getting left out of the party, huh?
Step 7: Set a gentle boundary
If the negative talk repeats, let the friend know it affects the vibe.
When the conversation stays on iMessage vs other phones, it feels a bit exclusive.
Step 8: Change the subject
Steer toward a neutral topic if the chat still feels tense.
Speaking of phones, have you seen the new camera features on the latest model?
Step 9: Model the behavior you want
When you reply, use plain text, no emojis that imply superiority.
Got your note, thanks for the heads‑up.
Step 10: Follow up later
Check in after a few days to see if the friend feels heard.
Hey, just wanted to know if the group chat switch worked for you.
Tips for staying calm
- Keep your tone even.
- Take a sip of water before answering.
- Write a draft in a notes app if you’re unsure.
Common pitfalls to avoid
- Getting defensive right away.
- Using sarcasm that could be misread.
- Ignoring the friend’s perspective completely.
Practice phrases you can copy
I understand why you feel that way.
That’s a good point, let’s think about how to include everyone.
I’m not sure iMessage is the only way to stay connected.
What if we set up a backup chat on a different platform?
Your point is clear, and I have a suggestion.
I appreciate the heads‑up, and I’ll look into other apps.
Let’s keep the focus on the message, not the messenger.
I’m open to trying something that works for all of us.
Thanks for sharing your view, I’ll consider it.
Do you think a mixed‑platform chat could work?
I’m glad you brought this up.
It’s worth testing a few options.
I’ll send a quick SMS to the group.
How about we use a link to a shared document for updates?
Your feedback helps me see the bigger picture.
Let’s give the new app a week and see how it feels.
I’m happy to help set up the new chat.
I think the conversation is more important than the tool.
What’s your favorite app for group talks?
I’ll keep an eye on any issues you notice.
Final thought
Handling a friend’s negative talk about iMessage takes patience and a clear focus on inclusion. By listening, offering facts, and suggesting alternatives, you keep the dialogue friendly and the group connected. This approach builds trust and makes sure everyone feels heard, no matter what phone they use.
Be kind ❤
